As I wrote in my very first post, I didn’t always love teaching. I went weeks and months where I thought about quitting almost every day. After a lot of soul searching, I chose to keep teaching. I chose to stick to my profession. I know a lot of teachers are at that crossroads right now. Teaching is a hard profession in so many ways, and believe me, I know. Every person must choose their own path in life, but making those decisions can be difficult. I don’t have all the answers, but I want to explain why I chose to stay.
Changing Jobs Wouldn’t Change Me
Sometimes leaving a situation is exactly what we need to make positive changes in our lives, but sometimes we just bring the problems with us when we leave. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons why I didn’t end up leaving education was because when I imagined myself doing something else, I realized that I would probably run into a lot of the same problems no matter where I went.
I have learned a lot about myself over the last few years. I know that I’m severely conflict adverse. I hate any sort of conflict. Angry parent emails send me into a tailspin that may take days to come out of. I’m easily distracted and often terribly forgetful. If my students ask me to do something for them, I have to write it down immediately or I’ll forget it ten seconds later. I can be extremely hard on myself and if something goes wrong that I interpret as my fault, it can cause me a lot of anxiety. I’m very introverted and working with people all day can be exhausting for me.
All of those parts of my personality combined can make teaching really difficult. A single negative email can ruin my week. Forgotten paperwork can result in not having a bus for a field trip, which leads to a lot of stress. Feeling exhausted every day because you feel like you have to constantly put on a show wears you down quickly. When I started thinking about it, though, I realized that no matter what job I had, those parts of my personality weren’t going to magically go away. I will always have to deal with conflict. I will always have to find ways to stay organized. I will always have to manage my self-criticism, and unless I decide to become a hermit, I will always have to work with people. Changing jobs won’t change me.
Once I had that realization, I decided that instead of giving up a job that had so many benefits for me, I needed to focus on changing myself. At least I needed to give it a chance. If I did my best to overcome my own weaknesses and still felt like my job was holding me back, then I’d consider a career change. So far, working on those weaknesses has made a huge difference in how I feel about my job. There are still hard days, but they are fewer and I can face them with the knowledge that – most of the time – I can do something about it to make it better.
Teaching – At Its Best – Is a Good Gig
I’m going to be honest. My main reason for teaching isn’t because I’m changing lives or influencing young minds. I do it because it suits the lifestyle that I want to live. I love having my summers off, and I take full advantage of that time. If I can finagle a way to leave the country for a few weeks every year, I do. I love having a full two weeks off for Christmas break, and random days off scattered throughout the year. True, I put in a lot of work to earn those days off, but having a random Monday or Friday free every now and then and about three months of vacation every year is great. I know not all teachers get to enjoy that time. There are a lot of teachers who have to work through the summers to pay the bills. I count myself lucky in that regard. My time off is truly time off, and I love having it. There aren’t many other professions that offer so much leisure time.
Teaching offers a lot of autonomy. Again, this varies from school to school, but most teachers get to decide a lot of what they do every day. As a high school music teacher, I have almost complete autonomy over what I do every day, other than the strict bell schedule that divides up my time. I get to decide how to decorate my room, what activities we’ll do, what music we’ll play, what our routine will be, etc. I can adjust my plans to fit my mood or energy level at any time – or the mood and energy level of my students. If I don’t like something, I can change it immediately without asking anyone’s permission. While I have to admit sometimes it’s daunting to have so much responsibility all the time, it also means I can create the environment that makes me the happiest.
I really enjoy being creative, and teaching offers endless opportunities to do that. Every day, I can create new activities and materials for my lessons. I get to come up with new ideas to better address my students’ current needs. If I want to decorate my bulletin board, I can do that, with whatever Pintrest-worthy creation I can come up with. The creativity isn’t limited to planning and preparation, either. When a student still doesn’t get a concept after I explain it three different ways, I get to think quickly and creatively to figure out yet another way that might click for that one student. The creativity needed for my job is so satisfying and fulfilling. I love feeling creative.
When I say teaching is a good gig, I have to qualify that a little. Teaching is a good gig – at its best. Certainly there are many teaching positions that are not ideal. Many teachers struggle financially, and many more struggle to balance their work responsibilities with their lives outside of work. I am lucky to have a great teaching position. I do believe, however, that we can all make our jobs at least a little better if we make the right changes. We can’t control everything about our job, but we can control a lot of it, and we definitely can control ourselves.
If You Decide to Leave
It’s okay. If you decide that teaching isn’t what you want to do anymore, that’s okay. You don’t need to feel guilty. When I chose to leave my old school and take a new job, I felt a huge amount of guilt. I had so many students and parents who wanted me to stay and I felt like I was letting them down, but I needed to leave and try something new. It was the best choice for me. I know teachers who left education and don’t look back. They are much happier now in other professions, and I am so happy for them. You may decide that leaving is what’s best for you, too.
Don’t feel like your years in education were a waste. When I was going through my worst times as a teacher, I still had students tell me that I was the best teacher they had, or that I was the reason they made it through high school. Those moments always surprised me a little. I felt like I was barely surviving. We were lucky just to get through whatever lesson scraps I could pull together for the day. How could I have been making any difference? Through those experiences I learned that you can be broken and still serve. You can hurt and still heal. Being imperfect does not make you incapable. During your years of teaching, you probably have done more good than you will ever know. You can take the lessons you learned and use them to serve in other ways.
You can be broken and still serve. You can hurt and still heal. Being imperfect does not make you incapable. During your years of teaching, you probably have done more good than you will ever know.
If, however, you choose to stay, I just want to tell you that I’m with you. You don’t have to do this alone, and things can get better. Students need teachers who are willing to work at mastering their craft. They need teachers who have been experimenting and improving slowly but surely for years, in spite of the difficulties and inevitable frustrations. I’m so grateful for the teachers that I had who brought their years of experience into our classroom. I’m even more grateful for the teachers who are now my colleagues and mentors, who can teach me better ways to teach because they chose to stay.
Today’s Challenge
Whether you are considering leaving the profession or not, it never hurts to reflect on how you’re doing in you career and how to make it better. Take a few minutes to write down what you enjoy about teaching and what you struggle with. What drew you to this career in the first place? What parts of teaching fit with the lifestyle you want to have? What problems and challenges do you face? What are the main reasons you would want to change careers? Once you have that written down, you can start thinking about what changes you want to make to create a more fulfilling career.