Teaching elective classes is tough sometimes. There is almost constant pressure to get as many students as possible to take your classes, and yet none of those students actually need to take your classes. In music especially, we feel like we need to have the biggest programs with the most students and we have to keep them from the time they start to the time they graduate. That pressure to recruit and retain comes from administrators, colleagues, and ourselves. Numbers help us keep our jobs. Numbers make us feel like we’re doing something right. That’s why it’s hard not to take it personally when a student chooses to drop our classes.

I should rephrase that. I have a hard time not taking it personally when students drop my classes.

This time of year is one of the hardest for me. It’s recruiting time. It’s audition time. It’s the time of year when I have to start worrying about whether I’m going to have a job next year. It’s the time of year when I find out just how many of my students have decided that orchestra is not for them anymore. 

Every time I have that conversation with a student, it tears me up inside. I can’t not take it personally. I love teaching, and I sincerely, genuinely love and care about my students. I put so much time and effort into trying to make orchestra the best possible place for them, so when they choose to drop out in favor of something else, it hurts. Deeply. 

We have so many voices telling us that we need those kids to stay. I think we need some voices telling us why it’s okay for them to leave.

Orchestra is not the only way my students can be involved in music. For some of them, it’s not even the best way. I’ve had students drop orchestra and then show up in my guitar classes. While they did well in orchestra, they got far more excitement and joy out of playing guitar. And honestly, guitar might be a better instrument to keep them involved in music after they graduate high school. Isn’t that what I want? For my students to keep playing music long after they leave my class?

And what if the students decide to take choir or band instead? I work with two other outstanding music educators at my school. The band and choir teachers are fantastic musicians with a lot of life experience who also care deeply about their students. If my students choose to drop orchestra in favor of choir or band, they will get to learn from another amazing teacher and their experience with music will be richer and more varied. Isn’t that a good thing?

Even the most committed orchestra students are going to graduate at some point. None of my students are going to stay in my program indefinitely. When students graduate, I celebrate with them and wish them all the best one their new adventure. I’m grateful for the time I had with them, and I’m happy to see them go on to bigger and better things. Shouldn’t I be able to do the same with the students who choose to only take orchestra for one or two years?

Even knowing all that, I still struggle to let go. It still hurts to see students leave. And so I turn my attention to the students who stay. 

Nothing is guaranteed. Nothing is permanent. Every year I’m going to have to say goodbye to some students as I welcome in others. The students in my class are the ones who need my attention. They show up because they want to be part of orchestra. My job is to teach them, to do my best for them. Those students are the ones who need my time and attention. For every student that chooses to leave, I have ten more students who choose to stay. Doesn’t that mean I’m doing something right?

It’s okay for students to drop. No one can do everything. While I keep telling myself that, it’s still hard to accept it. That’s okay, too. If I take it personally, that just means that I care. I want to care. I want to be deeply invested in my students and my program. That’s what makes this career worth it. 

In the end, all I can do is focus on the students I have in front of me. Give them the best possible experience and teach them as much as I can. If I can keep doing that, year after year, I’ll consider my program a success.

Letting Go of the Students Who Choose to Leave